WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
