Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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