Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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