Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
