i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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