Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My feet surprised me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize