Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.