Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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