If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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