You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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