dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
