Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry residentbiscuit hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(616): View more from Michigan

dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?

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(562): View more from California

Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.

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