So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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