so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we made out on top of his cat.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
