I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
