I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
