Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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