you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
