i already hear my dad disowning me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
3pm strippers are depressing
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
