just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
