I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
