we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
