No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i think i just lost a toe
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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