I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
what day is it and did you see me today?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize