My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just found puke in my bra..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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