I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize