don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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