i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
