his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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