She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
