He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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