the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Randomize
