i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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