After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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