UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
