Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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