do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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