somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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