i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
