Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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