You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.