I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
