butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I look better un-naked...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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