i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
