my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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