PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
