super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
