Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
