Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
