suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
