You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have fence marks all over my body
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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