OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
