so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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