Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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