so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
