We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
