i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
